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Posts Tagged ‘Depression’

What’s rising up inside is silent

first. This is not cheerful but

feel for where it is coming from and hold

yourself still

your tongue too, as it comes up further

reaches the places where

razor wire has grown like a cancer in your

body, running hot in your veins, still be still

though it commands your mind

to suffer along side the wrecked and ruined

heart and tremble

tremble.

Do not reach with hands

this place

over time, runs the silver down your face and

further along you will learn how to break

over and over

you will learn to

abandon.

 

©Sunontiepost 2016

 

 

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Choke and swear

waving hands side to side,

just to get my message

past the blood-red tide

coursing in my veins, loosed from

collapsing rooms, that are dark with

dread, always pounding doom.

___________

I come out from behind my eyes.

I can see you from ten feet high,

can’t come down till the

voice inside

says I’m the circle

not the line

drawn across my face

and time.

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A shuffle
arms move to some beat
unheard

balance that groove
Lazarus!
Where are your dancing shoes?

caught in the combine
threshed for good measure
set to burn with the miracles and
treasures?

you cant sell your life for
money now and the tomb
you came from
caved in

only stones left
filled with fire and
hands
ripe for throwing
reaching for them.

Then lands the first one for
you to realize
you were never here
never were

the whole time

Sunontiepost*
Copyright2015

58783-51695

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In the day room it is common
to catch one talking to the wall
the one with the clock.
There is something to be said for
observing time this way.
Not with words.

I move to the window, I don’t know if
It’s March or April, but contemplate the
rain anyway in the morning, it might still
be May of another year
or later
I can’t remember
today Her name was something
I could not put up with
this evening
Her hands take careful measure
making sure I see the way she snaps
the tarot cards down,
like a glass in a drinking challenge
I think
then I get her name from the air
Hope
and she says I could love you but I won’t
tells me I’m already tethered to the natural
world by the spirit of the wolf and adds
not for the first time
my heart leaps into the wind
on black wings, so fuck you
she says to me
lastly, looking down
Visiting hours are over
so I make my way quietly
across the room under the
nurses eye
towards the pouring rain
in whatever month it falls
It falls on us all,
lovely broken creatures.

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He says it may be
Stones  in his throat
When he clutches,
chokes

Says his heart flops
Like a fish in
The bottom of a boat

And the world tilts
Then gently begins to
Shutter, strobe

sounds serious when
He says he is nearly done
Being told he is too young

To have  days filled with pain
Go by like a great
Light shinning straight
In his eyes

Not everything has a word for it
And he doesn’t always remember things

Then stops talking and looks
Away.

Somewhere else now.

~~~~~

I don’t say I can imagine this

That maybe the stones are holding
A fire within themselves

Waiting to break free
to begin the forging of words
Against the anvil of his heart

I wont think of that until later

Later, when I remember there was something
Else he said about , red ribbons,
Coming loose from his sleeves,

The meaning of everything crawling
away from me.  Time and time Again.

©2012 Sunontiepost*

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